Has anyone else noticed that New York's Bridge and Tunnel Crowd (otherwise known as "Jersey") has adopted the Chelsea look? These days, you can barely tell the overly-plucked, overly-shaved, overly-worked out Jersey Guidos trolling New York's streets for drunk women from the overly-plucked, overly-shaved, overly-worked out fellas down in Chelsea. This site documents "macho" Jersey's strange obsession with the gay look.

Friday, June 15, 2007

All of these pictures were taken off of Friendster. Three of the five are guys from Jersey that're looking to pick up CHICKS.

Either I'm missing something or they're seriously, seriously missing something...

A. Daniel

Daniel doesn't give us a lot of information on his site. I'm guessing it's because his combination of the (a) clenched jaw, (b) clenched fists, (c) crucifix, and (d) not-so-tighty, not-so-whities says it all.

B. Carlos

Carlos, fella. I don't know where to begin.

I was torn between this picture and another picture of Carlos, with his shirt off (of course), squatting in front of a swamp lake. He's wearing white sneakers and giant metal bracers on his forearms, like he's some kind of midevil Nike ninja turtle. Tough choice, right?

Here, the contacts and eyebrow ring won me over. As for the hair, all I can say is: Carlos. Fella.

c. Armando

For his occupation, Armando lists: "WORK." As for music, he writes "I LIKE'M ALL!!"

I don't get the impression that I'll be expanding my cultural horizons, putting this web site together.

d. Christopher

Christopher describes himself as "a cool dud [sic] and I'm as real as they come."

Emphasizing his overwhelming real-ness, all Chris wants, when asked what he's seeking in someone to meet: "Just be real."

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.


When I originally envisioned this site, I was going to do two pictures a day (one being Gay, one being Jersey) for y'all to try to pick out. I thought I'd toss things up every now and then with a "bonus question," who would be someone that looked fairly normal, that could be of either category.

After about a half an hour, I gave up on "normal" and just tried to find a guy with his shirt on. And holy shit, it's amazingly hard to find a picture of a Gay guy or a Jersey guy with his goddamned shirt on.

So, our guy "Mad" in his wifebeater will have to do.

As far as "normal" goes, though, I'd say that Mad's still the last guy on my list that I'd want to share a prison shower with, whether he's Gay OR Jersey.


Josh Drimmer said...

this shit is harder than su doku.

cynthia said...

here goes....
a.)daniel-gay (but not comfortable gay, hence the clinched fists...doesnt want to be seen as a nelly bottom..he probably is though).

b.)carlos- jersey trash

c.)armando-this is a tough one, but i am going with jersey, baby.

d.)chris- gay, gay, gay

e.)mad- gay and a bear...

andrea said...

"Armando" is actually using a photo of a guy who was a contestant on the Gene Simmons/Fabio reality show collab, "Mr. Romance." It's funny -- but if memory serves, the contestant in the photo was, I believe, from Jersey.

Gus Trenor said...

I love the allusion to requisite middle school English like The Outsiders. Sardonic, dry-witted, and bitchy? You may be my long-lost good twin.

Anonymous said...

Heehee, "Armando" also thinks he's Gorgeous George Hamilton!

Anonymous said...

Paul is suggesting what he wants... gay.

Anonymous said...

BEEFCAKE, BABY!!! Arthur is too in love with himself but, looking like that I'm sure he can't pass a mirror without glancing. He's not sure what he wants quite yet but I bet he'd be happy with a gay worshiper...anything to see himself mirrored in adoring eyes.

Anonymous said...

Scott, oh yeah, he's got the gay twinkle in his eyes to go with those twinkle-toes.